cries of the celestial fox

[This is yet another story that i feel like writing. is it real? is it fake? i'll let you guys decide ^_^ ]

The reason why i am still single is because...i dont want to go through the pain of seeing him die before my time.

And ive had plenty of lovers, or owners, as you will, that i had to watch them die.

They cant grow old with me, because i dont age like they do.

My heart has been ripped open, healed, and then ripped open again.

Im still finding my previous owner. I am sure his reincarnation is somewhere and this beastial heart years for his presence.

We foxes may be sly, manipulative and crafty, but once we meet a friend, owner or lover who is worth hanging on to, we rarely let go.

its the curse of being a fox. its a long and painful journey that i doubt many other mortals around here can endure...

cursed to be attracted to both genders

cursed to be in an unattractive body

cursed to have no social skills

cursed to be alone, forever searching and yearning

many millennia ago when i was just a fresh fox spirit, i manipulated and tricked so many people into surrendering their essences to me...is this the retribution? to wander around cursed yearning for something he can never have...

praying everyday that the curse ends and that i wake up beside someone who really cares for me and loves me for the cursed creature i am. After all..i am here for my penance for all the horrible things i have done. I know i should not hope for much, but this beastial heart cannot help but to follow its instincts....

but neverthenless i do have a purpose here and i have to achieve it in order to make my stay here worthwhile. The wounds may always be there, but why should i let them stop me from leading life like everyone else on earth? I cant use my powers anymore and the other deities tease me, but thats allright, they dont have the tenacity i possess.

After coming here to earth i realize im not so bad after all. I learnt more about the humans that i hate so much. They kill so indiscriminately but when its their turn to die, they squirm and beg for mercy like the very creatures they destroy. But despite that there are gems hidden, and i yearn for this gems.

if i dont achieve my mission, i have agreed to be dissolved. That is only for me to blame. I miss my old body. It's been over 20 years and i still cant get used to this human one. It is very limiting.

but i will make the best of it.