It's been a rough journey throughout but im not going to give up at all. That's so not me to give up.
Sucker punch is a very good movie but it could be confusing at some extent. I like babydoll's will to fight. And since my mind is always wrapped in some sort of soap opera (yeah i see everything around me as a soap opera, everyone's a guest starring or recurring character or perhaps an extra) so i can like, so, relate, to babydoll. And i also have fantasies within a fantasy. It makes life more bearable.
reading the previous posts does make me realize i've been not myself for the last month or so. But i need to regain myself. I enjoy meeting people and i do need friends but fact is, not many around for me and the ones i can really relate to, but of late something's snapped in me.
This post isnt really supposed to be here, it's out of character but i dont care anyway. I think sometimes people do deserve to know the real, boring, socially ackward me but im learning. It's a painful process. I've always felt like i dont belong. when i interact with people, and social ackwardness and not knowing what to do in a social setting sets in, and when some friends exclude me from their circle it reaffirms the fact that i dont feel like i belong here on earth. So i gotta be more careful...
I feel like a fox trapped in a cage running around biting his tail...imagining it to be prey outside...entertaining myself and convincing myself im in the fields. Thats why i guess i relate to films like sucker punch. Maybe i need to get lobotomized. lol. Or restore my powers and fly back to heaven and become a Fox god or something. But nah thats not gonna happen. Its just like that brothel in sucker punch when in reality they are at the mental hospital.
I'll learn to react properly in social situations and i will learn to trust and open up more. I'm still alive after everything might as well try to adapt. I dont have a choice.
Now im just waiting for mr invisible to get me......LAUDAREE MACAROONS!!!! :p *runs around biting tail*