friends

I had few of these. but the few that i have i hold very dear to my heart.

But these are not easy to come by, like a pearl from an oyster by chance, or meeting a celebrity.

I used to expect everyone to understand and sympathize with what i went through and to make it easier for me, forgive my social mistakes and other blunders and i stopped after i realize it was unrealistic.

Perhaps, the most painful part of the whole mixing with people experience is when 'friends' that i talked about my hearts contents with suddenly decide to dump me and 'move on' when its just an excuse to hide from themselves.

It was my mistake for pushing their buttons, for touching on their fear and parts of them that they never could face, breaking through the exterior that they want everyone to believe.

Like a complex melody or an impressionist painting, i impart myself to everyone in the world as i am, like a classical perfume whispering her secrets of faraway lands through flowers and woods, or an exotic cuisine nourishing the eater with its multifaceted flavors. There is no secret and i am what i appear as. Like rain, everyone is free to touch me and feel my drizzle.

Alas, like a statue i stand, waiting for the one that will make me dance again.

I was quite busy these few days and was wondering what to write when i thought of all my friends and how they have been nice to me and i realize hey life isnt too bad after all. It's still sweet tinged with shades of melancholic colors and why not let people see it? It would be interesting, after all to see how i will be judged.