dimanche 12 septembre 2010

healing week

It's been a nice weekend of 3 nights of lack of sleep while i try to dig out old shits and heal them. Its not exactly the easiest thing to heal up old wounds and take care of them coz of the emotions and all. Being raped at 5 leaves a huge and deep mental scar yanno. It involves sexuality issues, DID, trust issues etc while needing to appear normal and cheerful. So those who complain that im emo, try going through that and then try to be 'normal'.

The thing is when you go through something like that you'll feel like your body's not yours and no matter what you do you'll only be a visitor renting your body. The feeling never really goes away no matter whats done. Its not about the act itself but the effects and the lack of security and trust that comes out.

So what i did was that i participated in a chatroom where other people with this problem and help talk to them and they talk to me about issues that we face. And there is progress and yeah i feel so much better these days.

i'm trying to find therapy tho. I think i may have DID. i'll talk about that later.

what's DID? It's being like this:


(this is the hollywood version. the real life versions are alot worse)

but unlike her, i remain in full control like the playstation 3 and they're just the games har har har.

6 commentaires:

  1. It's better to visit the psychologist and get it done deal quickly...

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  2. oh dear. so sorry to hear that. hope ur really ok yah. sometimes it helps to just talk to ppl. or just be with them. koala hugs :)

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  3. Sorry for what happened to you. These things shouldn't happen to anyone but they do. Hope you will stay very strong and get to take control of your life and live it to the fullest. Remember that this is your life, take charge. Writing blog is a way to express and relieve your emotions.

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  4. Me agree with pikey...good to hear you're recovering

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  5. pikey: the support group will do for now

    koala: yes that is if they understand. but 99% dont so its okay. i'll stick to those who do.

    legolas: omg you finally commented on muh blog i feel so honored *xplode* but you're not following me *cries* i need to recover and stuffs its gonna take time but i will :)

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  6. Haha, I'm no celebrity, and the pleasure was mine.

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