healing week

It's been a nice weekend of 3 nights of lack of sleep while i try to dig out old shits and heal them. Its not exactly the easiest thing to heal up old wounds and take care of them coz of the emotions and all. Being raped at 5 leaves a huge and deep mental scar yanno. It involves sexuality issues, DID, trust issues etc while needing to appear normal and cheerful. So those who complain that im emo, try going through that and then try to be 'normal'.

The thing is when you go through something like that you'll feel like your body's not yours and no matter what you do you'll only be a visitor renting your body. The feeling never really goes away no matter whats done. Its not about the act itself but the effects and the lack of security and trust that comes out.

So what i did was that i participated in a chatroom where other people with this problem and help talk to them and they talk to me about issues that we face. And there is progress and yeah i feel so much better these days.

i'm trying to find therapy tho. I think i may have DID. i'll talk about that later.

what's DID? It's being like this:

(this is the hollywood version. the real life versions are alot worse)

but unlike her, i remain in full control like the playstation 3 and they're just the games har har har.