straight/gay friends

First of all, let me apologize for the delay in posting. i'm actually preparing for an exam, getting used to new schedule, working out, meeting friends, expanding my spiritual horizons and fulfilling my personal needs. I will blog more often after the exam ends.

i think when it comes to the rude and weird, no where else has more of those than the PLU community.

my previous post was about a str8 crush and skysky asked why we have to have str8 crushes. well here's why: because how often will a PLU guy care about you as a friend, help you out and basically treat you like a brother?

so far of all my PLU friends, only one has shown such sincerity and care towards me. but we're not lovers. just friends.

4-5 of my straight friends have shown a similar level of care and attentiveness. kumachan for example, will talk about how he finds me talking loudly in the lift inappropriate and embarrassing and that he is telling that to me because we are close and he cares. If i am in trouble and i approach him, he will never hesitate to help at all. he will always pick up the phone. He will always reply MSN messages. Things like that.

It's not how much love you declare to the other person that makes things worth it, but rather how much you really care about him.

I do understand that most gays are preprogrammed to only treat potential BFs well and the rest like crap. but really is there a need? As for me, as long as the guy dosent lie about his intentions and appearance and only trying to get into my pants, i am fine with him as a friend. Second layer tho is if we communicate and click. Can we get along? are there common topics to talk about? or will he just brush them off or stop replying? Or give one liners? It will all depend on the willingness of both parties to open up to each other and if one of the criterias is looks, then good luck in finding someone with good looks that can actually be nice towards average looking guys.

there is a blogger whom i have added to msn. previously i added him to facebook and i had no idea it was that blogger. we exchanged a few messages before, but presumingly after seeing my facebook pictures, he lost interest and never chatted much after that. Then, when i found him as a blogger, he did not know it was me and he did have some prompt email replies. When he found out that it was me again, the cold shoulder returns. He just simply stopped replying any more emails or IMs.

like what the hell is that? if you can write so well, why not have the courtesy to have a decent conversation with someone? or is it because i look too ugly for you? not worth your time to even write sorry we wont get along as friends? but can write so well in blog?

why do some gays find it ok to treat other gays like trash but when they're treated like trash they complain and whine about it. And they wonder why are they still single. Why cant some people see that another gay man is a friend that also needs care and friendship and that can give it out in return? Gay men are people too and not living breathing disposable dildos. I dont find anything wrong with ONS, but if its done indiscriminately and at the cost of relationships and with the attitude that guys are just free gigolos to exploit and you dont give a damm about how much they get hurt if you cut off all contact after sex and toss them out like a used condom, then be prepared to be single and lonely for a very long time. With STDs to boot. Thats the main reason why i stopped ONSing. It's not worth to hurt other guys and myself at the end of the day because i'll only feel like a worthless rag after the sex. rather do it with someone who sees me as a person.

Talking about ONS, since it is after all mating season, my hormones made me revamp my fridae profile. I chatted up a few gays and one of them looked attractive. I messaged him as he was staying near my place. And somehow or rather i talked about sex. And the time and date was set which was tomorrow. As I would pass by his place,i felt like just getting a glimpse of how he looked like and then decide. He sounded enthusiastic to meet me at first but then when i arrived he made me wait for 30mins before he turned up, and giving excuses like its not convenient for me to go up to his block because the neighbours doors are wide open and such. At the end when i met him, i got a total shock as he was ulgy and really different from the picture as if someone gave him an acid attack on the face. The body still looked good tho. I immediately cancelled the appointment and fled home in horror. It is kinda sad to see someone who needs to trick guys to have sex with them. Thank god i didint meet him and had sex right away. else i'll be traumatized again.

And you know what is the scary part? all of us could have end up like that 39 year old guy. We might be handsome now, but once thats gone what do we have if we have a sucky attitude? I have seen so many bitter and lonely gay men, and age isnt a problem here. Its the stinky attitude. Once upon a time, someone did tell me that he only wants gay friends and he does not trust straight people. But what if the gay friends only want his body and not him? And the straight guys see him as a brother rather than a walking dildo and helps him out in times of trouble? Whats gonna happen when he's old, alone and no longer have that killer body? So for every guy you snub, just think of what would you do if someone did the same to you. And eventually you'll close your heart to even your friends and all guys will only be walking dildos as people might be attracted at first, but at a closer look they see your disgusting personality.

But if we have a good personality we'll always have friends at least even if we cant win ourselves a lover. And since the heart is open, there is no need to trick guys into having sex with you and there will always be friends that will share your burden.

well this post is kinda long and heavy after the week-long absence, but i intend to write it because some people do need to wake up from the dream that they're the best guy in the world and that so many other guys are not worth their attention even tho they're sincerely in for friendship. Because in reality they're not attractive and their personality just makes them worse. At the end, people with good looks but with really disgusting personality are disgusting. So wake up from your dream. It's not your looks but your personality that matters.